I realized at some point that there was a limit to my chameleon persona and that there was a limit to my risk-taking. I realized I needed to find my identity because it was not working.
STEALTH: A WAY OF BEING, Chapter: The Game
That moment wasn’t a breakdown — it was a breakthrough.
For much of my life, I thrived as a chameleon. I could adapt to any team, any environment, any challenge. That flexibility helped me rise. It was, for a time, my superpower.
But eventually, it became a subtle form of self-betrayal.
I began to notice that I was successful by every external metric yet quietly misaligned. I wasn’t burned out, disengaged, or burned out, but something was off. I felt the dissonance between the leader I was performing as and the one I was called to become. It wasn’t that I needed to change everything. I needed to change how I saw myself.
The Hidden Trap of a Former Identity
As leaders, we evolve — but often, our identity doesn’t keep pace with our growth.
That gap becomes the silent friction that holds us back. I’ve coached leaders who continued to define themselves by their technical mastery even after being promoted to executive roles. Others still felt the need to “prove their worth,” even though they were already running high-performing teams. Their actions weren’t misaligned—their self-image was. It’s not uncommon. We often stay loyal to the version of ourselves that got us here, even if it’s no longer what we need to move forward.
The irony is that your past identity isn’t deficient. It likely served you well. But what, once protected, can you later limit yourself?
When Identity Becomes a Ceiling
I see it all the time: high-capacity leaders wrestling with invisible constraints.
Not because they lack skills, strategy, or systems — but because they haven’t yet rewritten the narrative of who they are now.
- We often say, “What got you here won’t get you there.”
- But I’d offer this: Who you were may not be who you’re becoming.
When our inner identity—how we define our worth, interpret our role and believe about our place in the room—doesn’t evolve, everything else stagnates.
That includes vision, impact, confidence, and trust.
Identity Alignment Is the Unlock
Fundamental transformation happens when your identity aligns with your leadership.
This doesn’t mean you discard everything about who you were. It means you consciously release outdated roles, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve your growth. You integrate what’s still valuable and make space for what’s next.
- The fixer becomes the one who builds other fixers.
- The voice in every room becomes the amplifier of others.
- The output-focused leader becomes the steward of sustainable systems.
When this shift happens, clarity follows.
And your team doesn’t just follow your decisions — they trust your presence.
This Is the Inner Work That Lasts
In my coaching work, I often support leaders at that precise moment of shift. They’ve accomplished much but feel something deeper calling them forward. Sometimes, it’s subtle, and sometimes, it’s loud. It’s always worth listening to.
The process is rarely comfortable. But it’s always liberating.
However, It invites leaders to examine:
- Who am I without this role, title, or pattern?
- What part of my identity is outdated?
- Who am I becoming — and how do I lead from that place?
If You’re Feeling the Friction, You’re Not Alone
This isn’t a crisis. It’s a rite of passage.
And if you’re feeling this inner tension — the sense that the old you can’t carry the weight of the new vision — you’re likely standing at the edge of your next level.
Don’t rush past that. Listen to it. Reflect on it.
You might be ready to lead not just better but truer.
Final Reflection
Leadership isn’t about doing more.
It’s about becoming more by releasing what no longer serves your mission and fully aligning with your values, purpose, and presence.
You lead with CLARITY and conviction when your identity aligns with your impact.
And that’s when others begin to follow your strategy and your example.
Are you leading from an outdated version of yourself?
If you’re ready to reconnect your identity with your leadership, I’d love to help you make that shift. Schedule a conversation — Let’s start with a reflection.